Never Dance Again Dance With You

In October ane of my dearest friends asked me where my movie was that Keegan had fabricated of me dancing when he was 4. It hung in my PA house for years and this blog was birthed out of that picture three years ago. She thought it was time for information technology to come back out and for ME to be reminded this fourth dimension… I volition trip the light fantastic toe once more. I reread this blog terminal night through tears…So with no further explanation… hither is "You Volition Dance Again," by me, this time for me…. and the pic came out of the boxes and is upward on my wall again.

There is a picture of me dancing that hangs on our refrigerator. Information technology'southward been at that place over a year now as a reminder and I don't program on taking it downwardly someday before long. It'southward a reminder that I trip the light fantastic toe again.

I have a masters degree in counseling but at that place was a season when at the end of a lot of days I felt similar I needed to exist the one on the couch.

Life felt out of control, I felt out of control and I lost myself. I vividly recollect going on a walk with my Honey 1 night and he said, "How'south Vivian?" My answer was simple – "she isn't. Vivian doesn't exist anymore. I'm a mom at present." I hated it only didn't know how to fix it, and I didn't have the energy to try to figure information technology out. I was but treading water to get through the days.

I call back another conversation after infant number 2 that I said through tears, "I'one thousand only so distressing that they volition never know me. The existent me. The 'full of life,' bubbly, FUN, me. They will simply know this vanquish who is exhausted and yells to much because I'm stressed."

Couple all of this with the guilt and confusion of knowing I was living my dream, just all of the sudden feeling like my dream didn't fit. That's an awful place to be. You might be in this place right now. It might exist because of motherhood or it might be because of another dream that feels it doesn't fit. Tin can I allow y'all in on a little secret? Y'all volition dance again.

It seems unbelievable right now, I know. Y'all loved to read but now the idea of even picking upwardly book makes you tired. Yous're were a party planner extraordinaire only having someone for dinner now means you really have to melt something. Y'all loved to write, merely the only words you become out at present are mostly focused on a toddler vocabulary. You were the all-time teacher, accountant, massage therapist, managing partner, fill in the blank… only these days you are gear up for a nap by one.

That picture on my refrigerator, information technology was painted past my youngest when he was four. He knows me equally a dancing mama. When he walked out of his school with that picture, I don't know who was prouder; him because of his beautiful artwork, or me, because I kept pushing through the days. With the help of a Heavenly Father that loved/s me and poured out strength, intentional friends that listened and a married man that held my paw fifty-fifty when I wasn't "me" I fabricated it over that mountain. And now, now I'm dancing on the other side, for my kids and the whole world to come across.

Keep pushing my friends. Cry your tears and never experience guilty for them, for you were created by a loving Father who insisted we come equipped with an emotional side. Find your intentional friends, the ones you can be gut level honest with and who will never make you feel less. Paint your nails. Sign up for a 5k. Bake a block. Seriously, something small that y'all can practice that is just for you lot. No one else. Something that will remind yous that y'all are a person, not just a role.

Y'all're in there, and you will trip the light fantastic toe once again.

valtierrautmacksmay.blogspot.com

Source: https://wednesdaysmusings.wordpress.com/2018/11/16/you-will-dance-again-2/

Share this post